"Autism & Memoirs of an Old Maid"…C'hele's Story

September 12, 2010

General Stuff On My Mind….

Filed under: In General — C'hele @ 04:25

1. This past Labour Day long weekend I have been childless. Some might revel in the thought of becoming childless for such a long period of time, but in all honesty? I diden’t like it. It made me think of how horrible life is without my daughter, special needs and all.

2. Work has started and I’m back at my high school. I look forward to both the upcoming new school year and the new students. What I do not look forward to is, working with less E.A. and teacher support due to funding cuts and lay offs. That in itself, is going to cause me to hate my job in a few months when things really get rolling.

3. My daughter is going to a new high school this year. She is looking forward to the new environment, new friends and hopefully, better team support. The upcoming change and anticipation has worn on her anxiety-ridden person a great deal this past summer. I must say: Homeopathy is a god-send. I cannot wait to see how she manages in a few months in her new school.

4. My brother and sister-in-law went camping in thier new RV this past weekend. Apparently they had a very good time. I have my doubts however. Thier dog, a lab, usually sleeps with them in thier bed at nights and the camping trip was no exception to this rule. The thought makes me cringe with disgust as the dog is outside just as much as its inside. I hope to God they change the sheets daily. The camper looks like it was made in 1977 and although it looks like its in rough shape, is sound. I told my brother that all he needed was a straw hat and to change his name to “Jeb”, and everything would be perfect.

5. Yesterday, I was in an organizational frenzy. I find myself like this at least 3 times a year: New Years Day, Spring and September. To be honest, I have no idea how I live with myself because I was an absolute freak about it.

6. The last few days, I have been organizing pictures and placing them into photo albums. This has been a job that I have severely neglected for a few years now. In doing this tedious job, I coulden’t help but notice that over the years, I always seems to have one look: the grow-out look. I cant believe how pathetic I look in almost every picture of myself. Why is it that I have neglected to take photo’s of myself when I actually have nice hair?? I know there is a psychological explanation for this, but I’m not sure I really want to know.

7. I am very excited. Next week I will be taking Finnish language lessons/classes. Despite my excitement about this, I cannot help but feel a bit of resentment towards my mother that she did not make sure that I grew up with the language. I remember my grandmother being disgusted about this and she took it upon herself to start teaching me. Thanks to my father’s fanatical, controlling side of the family, they pressured my mother to a huge degree insisting that teaching me a second languate would only screw me up. Currently, all I know is a smattering of words and with great difficulty I can make out the jest of whats been said during conversation. You have no idea how difficult is it to learn this language. Its going to be frustrating, but I’m determined!

Bonus: my mother is fluent in Finnish (and Swedish).

Bonus #2: the rental house behind my parents home is rented out to an immigrated Finnish woman who has only been in Canada for eight years. Needless to say, my mother and the neighbour are thrilled that “countrymen” live next door to each other. Its not everyday that you just bump into a full-fledged Finn or at least live next to one in another country. I think its very cool because I can also practice speaking with my mom’s neighbour! So, I’m convinced that this is an omen and that it is meant to be that I persue and learn this language.

8. My boyfriend is half way through completing his motorcycle lessons. I’ve always been told that there is no such thing as a dumb question. However, after listening to his stories about the others in his group and the questions they ask, makes me grateful that I’m not also doing this. It frightens me to no end that these people will soon be out on the road driving. If they actually pass that is. All brains, but absolutely NO common sense and I will leave it there.

9. I must be getting old. I used to hate listening to the song “Sunny Days” by ? (Lighthouse I think was the band).  Due to it being the summer, my favourite classic rock station play it alot. The more I listen to it, the more the cheery, upbeat tune puts me in a good mood. Subconsciously, I must be jealous that I am unable to do the same. It takes me back to when I was sixteen, lying in some backyard in a bikini at one of my girlfriends house with all my girlfriends around with not a care in the world. Yup. I’m jealous and miss those days.

10. I am currently sitting in my car with my lap-top whilst my daughter is having one of her Esquestrian riding lessons. Looking up to the thermometer in my car, I take note that it reads 18.5 degrees celcius. The sun is soft, the sky is blue and the clouds resemble a fine gauze. Suddenly the song “Sunny Days” pops into my mind and I would love nothing more when its time to go home, to get out my camping chair, bring out the tunes, a book and a Budweiser. I am greatful for the perfect day (even though I dont drink beer anymore!).


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